"I did not think you would judge me," Alcuin said honestly. "You have been very kind to me. And I am not ashamed, either, just... aware of what it may sound like to someone outside. This was a choice I made. Perhaps for the wrong reasons, but it was still my choice. And the man who won, he was not... unkind, not then. It was not exactly pleasant, but he did not hurt me or anything like that. The problem was that after, he became obsessed with me."